Few feelings are worse than suspecting your partner is cheating on you. You start to question everything they say and do, as well as where they are and who they’re with. You start focusing all of your energy into needing to know for sure if they’re cheating or not. In some cases, you may even start to become critical of yourself. In these situations, you might start to think that you need to change the way you look or act to win your partner back or to make sure their attention is focused on you. If you’re worried about whether or not your partner is cheating, here are some things to keep in mind.
Your feelings may be justified
The feelings described above are not uncommon if your partner has given you reason to believe they are being unfaithful. For example, maybe they have been unfaithful in the past or have lied about where they were or who they were with when they went out. Maybe your partner has had a significant number of partners, and you have a hard time believing they would be faithful in the first place. You may have a wide range of reasons you may not trust your partner. These reasons may be because of their behavior or your own insecurities, and marital counseling or couples therapy could be useful in addressing these sorts of issues. Regardless of why you suspect cheating, it’s not healthy to obsess over these kinds of thoughts or to be in a relationship that’s built upon dishonesty and deception. The best thing you can do for yourself and your future is to find out for sure if your partner is cheating. Here are two tactics to consider.
Talk to your partner
One way you can find out if your partner is cheating on you is by asking them directly. People cheat for a wide range of reasons. For some, they want to get caught to end the relationship they’re in, because they’re too afraid to just say they want to get out. In those cases, if you ask directly, they may be honest with you about a current or former affair, as well as their desires to end your relationship. These kinds of difficult conversations can be incredibly hard to have, but worth it if you’re really concerned about your partner’s behavior.
Investigate your partner
One problem with asking directly is that if your partner lies and says they’re not cheating, you may continue to suspect them if their behavior doesn’t change. The second option is to do your own detective work. Using a service like Go Look Up, you can investigate numbers your partner is calling or getting calls from. You can use this information to determine whether your partner is lying when you ask direct questions and corner them with some of the above relationship advice.
It can be difficult to suspect your partner of cheating on you. But you don’t have to live in the dark. By asking them directly or doing a little digging online, you can determine whether or not the love of your life is being unfaithful. If you find any reason to believe your partner is having an affair, it’s a good idea to end the relationship. Even if they admit to the affair and promise to never cheat on you again, it can be hard to rebuild the trust necessary to thrive as a couple. Likewise, if you do the research and cannot find any proof that your partner is cheating, you need to learn to trust them and let go of your suspicions. If you’re unable to trust your partner despite there being no concrete reason not to trust them, it may be a reflection of your own insecurities.
